


Giving you up

by NaleyForever2020



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28775676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaleyForever2020/pseuds/NaleyForever2020
Summary: Vanessa has been pushing Charity away during her struggle with Cancer when she asks Rhona to be Johnny's guardian over Charity it destroys Charity and she leaves can Vanessa see what she's done and get her family back.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

It’s been three months now since Vanessa’s been back after her and Johnny were held hostage by Pierce and on top of that she had bowel cancer. The operation was a success and they managed to remove the affected area only thing Vanessa had to endure now was chemo to make sure it killed any remaining cancerous cells. Charity has stood by Vanessa through it all and Vanessa knew it was hard on her fiancé seeing her like this.

Charity has never felt so scared seeing Vanessa like she is, even though the doctors got everything Vanessa was still convinced things were going to get worse, and ever since Vanessa came home from the surgery she’s been pushing Charity away not wanting to be around her. Charity knew this was hard on her and was just waiting for her to let her back in again and let her be there for her.

**Chapter 1**

Vanessa knew she needed to talk to Charity and tell her what’s going on, these last few months have been the hardest of her life.

“Hi Charity, can I talk to you” Vanessa said as she sat down.

“Look I’m sorry for how I acted the other day it just hurt me seeing you drunk like that your supposed to be getting better not getting wasted” Charity sighed as she sat opposite Vanessa. 

“I’m sorry about that, I just wanted a night to forget what’s happening, anyway yesterday I went to see my solicitor to have some things in place, if the chemo doesn’t work. I spoke to Rhona and she’s agreed to be Johnny’s guardian, so he’ll have someone to care for him if the worst should happen” Vanessa said as tears started forming from her eyes.

“You asked Rhona to be Johnny’s mum you didn’t think to ask me, I love him he’s my kid, that’s how I see him. You don’t trust me with him what am I to say to this” Charity yelled this was killing her it’s like Vanessa ripped her heart from her chest.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you I know you love him, I’ve known Rhona so long I’m just thinking about Johnny I’m not trying to hurt you” Vanessa said

“What if we were married I’d be Johnny’s mum then, or would you still decided I wasn’t good enough to raise your son, what am I to you” Charity cried she’s never felt so broken how could the woman she loves more than anything do this to her.

“I love you Charity, I’m just trying to do what best for Johnny” Vanessa cried why couldn’t she see this was for the best.

“You think that’s being with Rhona. I know everyone around here doesn’t think I’m the best mum but I’d do anything for my kids and I thought you knew that. I thought you were the only person who didn’t think I was a terrible mum but here you are telling me I’m not good enough to be Johnny’s mum. You know what Vanessa I’m done, go be with Rhona it’s clear to me you love her I don’t know why you wasted the last three years with me it’s clear to me I’m not the one you want. You’ve been pushing me away for months treating me like crap you don’t talk to me your always with Rhona going on benders now you want her to raise our son” Charity yelled as she grabbed her coat she had to get out of there.

“Charity how can you think I’m having an affair, I love you this is stupid, I’m just trying to do what is right. I just want to be prepared if the worst should happen, you should be happy I’m making these decisions I know you struggle with these things” Vanessa yelled as she tried to stop her leaving. 

“I hope your happy with Rhona, I mean it Ness I’m done you’ve broken my heart for the last time I was never good enough for you, you don’t want me” Charity cried as she slammed the door she couldn’t stay there a moment longer.

Charity knew what she had to do, so she went into town to get a few things she had to get out of here she couldn’t stay not anymore. Charity knew this was going to be hard to say goodbye to her little man she knew she could never lose him from her life.

“Hi Charity you ok, you look upset” Tracy asked as she opened the door.

“Yeah I’ve come over to see Johnny, I need to speak to him, if that’s ok” Charity asked as she walked into Vanessa’s old house.

“Sure he’s just finishing his lunch hopefully he’ll be back at nursery tomorrow he’s feeling a lot better do you want a cuppa” Tracy asked as she went to put the kettle on.

“No thanks Trace I’m not staying long, can you give me ten minutes with him” Charity asked as she tried to stop the tears again.

“Ok, what is going on is it Vee is she ok, your scaring me” Tracy said something was going on she could feel it.

“Vanessa is fine I just need to speak to my son” Charity sighed did no one trust her.

“Ok I’ll be upstairs then you are telling me what’s going on ok” Tracy said as she turned to go upstairs.

“Mummy Charity we play cars yeah” Johnny asked as she picked him up and carried him over to the sofa.

“Not now Johnny bobs I got you something this was Sarah’s she wants you to have it” Charity said as she handed him the IPad.

“Thank you Mummy Charity I’ll be careful with it” Johnny smiled.

“Johnny I have to go away for a while, but I’m going to face time you everyday ok, I love you so much and I want you to know you will always be my boy” Charity cried as she held her son.

“But why, I love you don’t leave” Johnny cried.

“I’m not leaving you I will come and see you I promise I just have to get away being here hurts me too much, I need you to look after mummy ok make sure she’s not sad and give her big cuddles, I better go I love you Johnny bobs” Charity cried as she placed a kiss on his forehead.

“I love you to mummy Charity” Johnny said as she walked out the door.

It broke Charity’s heart leaving but she had to go this was just too much for her to handle. The kids were waiting for her in the car still not having a clue what was going on and she couldn’t tell them not yet thankfully Sarah was in Scotland with Debbie so she didn’t need to worry about her to.

“Mum what’s going on” Noah asked as they started driving out of the village.

“We’re going to stay with my dad for a couple of days until I figure things out, you can’t tell anyone where we are going ok I really don’t want anyone to know right now” Charity said as she stopped on a layby so she could talk to them.

“You can’t just leave what about Vanessa and Johnny they need us Mum” Noah yelled in shock what was going on.

“Vanessa doesn’t want to be with me anymore Noah she want’s Rhona to be Johnny’s Mummy she doesn’t want me she thinks I’m a terrible Mum. I can’t stay please don’t ask me to I’m so broken right now my heart is shattered I’ve never felt pain like this I, we have to go” Charity cried as she wiped her eyes.

“Ok Mum I won’t say anything I’ve never met your dad I didn’t even know you talked to him” Noah asked confused.

“I know I’m sorry about that he’s only been back in my life since the new year I was going to take you all to meet him soon this just sort of speeded things up” Charity said as she started driving again.

“Mummy is Johnny going to be coming too” Moses asked he hasn’t seen his brother in a couple of days.

“Not right now babe no but we’re going to face time him later ok” Charity cried he’s so small she really didn’t know how to explain this to him.

“Love you mummy” Moses smiled as he placed the elephant back in his mouth.

“I love you to babe so much” Charity smiled she felt happy to have her kids.

“Johnny where did Mummy Charity go” Tracy asked not seeing her in the front room with Johnny.

“She left I’m going to face time her later she gave me IPad” Johnny smiled as he continued playing the game.

“Oh ok, that’s weird any way lets go over and see Mummy” Tracy smiled as she handed him his coat and wellies.

When they arrived at the house Tracy was shocked to see a parcel outside the door addressed to her sister looks like it was left there this day was getting weirder.

“Hi Trace, Johnny I’ve missed you” Vanessa smiled as she hugged her little boy.

“This is for you it was by your front door, I saw Charity earlier she was upset about something are you ok” Tracy asked as she handed her the parcel.

“Yeah we’ll be ok, I’ve just put the kettle on if you want a cuppa” Vanessa said as she placed the parcel down.

“I’ll make it you should see what that’s about” Tracy said as she went into the kitchen and finished making the tea.

Vanessa could believe what was inside the bracelet she gave Charity on their non wedding day what was going on, then she saw the letter.

**_“Ness I’ve been sitting in my car for the last hour trying to figure out what to say to you. I’ve never felt pain like this before I really truly thought you was different and that you saw the real me and that you could see how much I love you and your little boy. I loved him like he was my own I never treated him any differently he was my little shadow he followed me around everywhere I loved that he wanted to be with me. I know I haven’t been the best mum to my own kids but I had changed, and I was doing everything to make things right with them._ **

**_You know what I went through and it took a lot for me to let someone truly in I trusted you more than I ever thought I could trust someone. I know I’ve let you down in the past but I swore I would never let you down again but I’ve realised something you don’t love me as much as I love you or you wouldn’t have been able to leave me like you did. Yes I know I messed up but you didn’t want to fight for us then and I know we got back together why was that, because it’s not me you want. I get it Rhona’s your best friend you always go to her and I know you loved her once if it’s her you wanted you should have just told me._ **

**_I know you’re going to be ok I never doubted you’d get better you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I just can’t stay anymore I’ve never felt so broken, when you told me you didn’t want me to be Johnny’s Mum it shattered my heart in to a million pieces that you thought I wasn’t good enough for him. I have to get away I can’t stay anymore it be too much I’m going to keep in touch with Johnny I promised I’d never leave him and I won’t regardless of what happens between us he’s still my little boy. I just want you to be happy Ness even if it’s not with me, you will always be the love of my life it just hurts I wasn’t yours goodbye Vanessa”_ **

“Vee what’s happened what is it” Tracy asked as Vanessa dropped the letter on the floor.

“It’s Charity she’s gone she’s left me Trace what have I done” Vanessa cried as tears streamed down her face.

“Why would she leave none of this is making any sense what have you done” Tracy asked as she hugged her sister.

“I asked Rhona to be Johnny’s guardian if something was to happen to me I wanted my son to be looked after, I’ve got this all wrong Trace I broke her” Vanessa cried she should have spoken to Charity.

“You did what, Vee how could you do that she’s his mum anyone can see how much she loves that boy how could you ask Rhona also I’m your sister why didn’t you ask me I would have cared for him” Tracy said as she moved away from her.

“Look I wasn’t thinking ok, Rhona is my best friend and I know she’s a good mum and would be there for Johnny” Vanessa yelled.

“What and I wouldn’t look after him or Charity wouldn’t she’s been doing everything lately when you’ve been sick. I see my nephew more than Rhona does it’s not her house he’s at all the time is it he’s with me. This must have destroyed Charity you thinking she wasn’t good enough to raise your son. I admit I was shocked when you first got together no one thought it could last but you both loved each other so much, and you became a blended family her kids love you and she loved Johnny like he was her own, you’ve really messed up here Vee” Tracy said still in shock and hurt by her sisters actions.

“I know I have Trace she’s not going to forgive me for this I’ve been pushing her away for months I just didn’t like feeling like I was burden and I can talk to Rhona I’ve always been able to. I know Charity loves Johnny I’m not stupid I honestly thought she wouldn’t want to be saddled with him. I should have spoken to her discussed things I have to find her, I’m going to go and see Chas can you watch Johnny for me” Vanessa said as she got up.

It didn’t take them long to arrive at her dad’s the journey was mostly quite the boys could sense Charity was upset and didn’t want her to cry anymore.

“Noah I’m just going to grab our stuff from the boot can you hold on to Moses for a minute” Charity asked as they got out of the car.

“Hi Charity, you must be my grandsons” Obadiah asked as he came outside.

“Hi Dad, thanks for having us at short notice how are you feeling now” Charity asked she felt bad just turning up like this.

“I’m doing good, I’ve just made some tea and boys I got some cakes your mum used to love if you want some” Obadiah said as he walked them into the house.

“So your mum’s dad this all feels strange I didn’t even know you existed” Noah said as he entered the house holding Moses’s hand.

“I’m sorry about that kid I have a lot of making up to do” Obadiah said as they sat at the kitchen table.

“Noah can you take Moses in the front room watch TV, while I talk to my dad” Charity said as she carried the bag through the door she bought them enough for a few days but she’ll have to go back into town and get them some more bits.

“So what happened Charity I was in shock when you phoned me earlier” Obadiah said as he handed her a cup of tea.

“Sorry about that Dad I couldn’t think of where else to go, I just need a place for a day or two” Charity cried.

“You can stay in my spare room like you did before, I still don’t understand, I thought you loved Vanessa what happened.” Obadiah asked when she was here before all she wanted was Vanessa to come home so they could work things out, then she got cancer he knew his daughter had a lot to deal with in the last few months.

After telling her dad what happened she didn’t expect him to hug her she felt like a kid again before her mum died when he was a good dad.

“Charity when I had my stroke I never expected you to come and help me not after what I did I was a terrible father I should have been there for you all these years. When you was last here and you and Vanessa was apart I had your Nan’s house put in your name so you can move in there it needs some work done to it and a bit of a clean but it’s yours if you want it. I just want you to be happy I’m so sorry things haven’t worked out with Vanessa things must be hard for her going through Cancer it’s a lot to deal with. Maybe she wasn’t thinking clearly I may not know you well but I can see you love your kids and I know you’re a good mum” Obadiah said as he handed her the keys.

“Thanks Dad that means a lot, are you sure about this I didn’t know you had Nan’s house” Charity said as she wiped her eyes she really didn’t like feeling like this.

“I should have given you it years ago it’s what she would have wanted. So what are you going to do now with the boys” Obadiah asked.

“I’m going to get Moses into a new school and Noah can still get to college from here so that’s fine I’m going to sell my share of the pub and look for a job. I just can’t go back dad I just can’t” Charity cried she never expected this to happen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It’s been a few weeks now since Charity moved into her Nan’s house she went shopping and bought some new furniture and some clothes and toys for the boys. Her dad has been over a few times getting to know his grandsons and she was happy he was back in her life he really was changed. She spoke to Johnny everyday just like she promised him she missed the little boy so much and she knew eventually she’d have to speak to Vanessa about visitation for her boys they were brothers they shouldn’t be kept apart.

Charity kept in touch with Chas making sure Vanessa was ok and the chemo was going well it broke her heart not being there when she needed her most. Chas tried to get her to tell her where she was but she refused she really didn’t want to see anyone.

Vanessa still didn’t know where Charity was and no one would tell her she only had one round of chemo left and she then should get the all clear. She knew she should have had more faith that she’d be ok. She missed Charity and the two boys so much.

Noah came over a few days after they left to pick up some things he didn’t hate her thankfully he couldn’t understand why Vanessa didn’t want his Mum to look after Johnny that still doesn’t make sense to him. He wouldn’t tell her where they was either he couldn’t he promised his mum and he wasn’t going to hurt her too.

After Johnny came back from nursery, he went straight to his room wanting to play video games Vanessa knew he missed Charity, Noah and Moses he really was taking this hard and Vanessa felt terrible the last couple of weeks Tracy has really helped her. After Charity left Vanessa spoke to her lawyer and stopped the process of Rhona being Johnny’s guardian Tracy was right Johnny belonged with Charity she just hoped one day Charity could forgive her for the pain she’s caused her.

“Hi Moses” Johnny smiled as he face timed his brother not expecting him to call.

“Hi Johnny you ok, what you doing I’m in a new school now” Moses smiled.

“I’m just playing games where are you I miss you and Mummy Charity” Johnny asked.

“Were at Nanny’s house we live here now” Moses sighed missing his brother.

“Why can’t I live with you, I don’t want to be here” Johnny asked.

“I heard Mummy tell Noah that Mummy Ness didn’t want mummy to be your mummy and it made mummy cry. Mummy Ness loves Rhona she wants you to be with Rhona,” Moses said as Charity came in the room.

“Moses what are you doing” Charity asked as she made her way in the room.

“I’m talking to Johnny” Moses smiled as he showed her the IPad.

“Hi Johnny bobs, what’s the matter why are you crying” Charity asked as she noticed him upset.

“I wanna live with you Mummy Charity” Johnny cried.

“Oh Johnny bobs I miss you so much I promise I’m going to come over and see you ok” Charity cried hearing the heartbroken voice killed her inside.

“Johnny who are you talking too” Vanessa asked as she made her way into his room.

“Johnny bobs I’ll ring you later ok Moses say goodbye to your brother,” Charity said wanting to end the call she wasn’t ready to talk to Vanessa yet.

“I hate you I want to live with Mummy Charity, Noah and Moses, why don’t you want Mummy Charity to be my Mummy” Johnny yelled as he placed his tablet down.

“Oh Johnny I made a stupid mistake ok who told you” Vanessa asked Charity wouldn’t tell him she just wouldn’t she would have said something sooner if she wanted him to know what she did.

“Moses told me you want me to be with Rhona and not them, why would I want to do that I love mummy Charity and my brothers why did you take them away from me I don’t want to live here with you I wish you wasn’t my mummy” Johnny yelled as he stormed out of his room.

“Johnny stop please let me explain” Vanessa cried as she went after her little boy.

“I’m going to Nanny’s house that’s where they are I’m going to ask aunty Chas to take me she’ll know” Johnny cried as he made his way downstairs.

“Nanny’s house Johnny what are you talking about who’s Nanny” Vanessa asked confused.

“I don’t know Moses said he was living at Nanny’s house must be his Nanny” Johnny shrugged his shoulders.

“Ok Johnny I’m taking you to Tracy and I’m going to make things right with Mummy Charity, I’m so sorry for the mistakes I made. You’re not going to live with Rhona ok I was just trying to have things prepared if the hospital couldn’t make me better I love you Johnny your my world I just needed you to be ok” Vanessa said as she picked him up.

After dropping Johnny off with Tracy she went to the pub to speak to Chas. She needed to know where Charity was because what Johnny said didn’t make any sense Charity’s mum died when she was small so who’s Moses Nanny.

“Hi Vanessa what can I get you” Chas asked not expecting to see her.

“Hi Chas, Johnny told me Charity’s at her Nan’s house that can’t be right” Vanessa said none of this made any sense.

“Her Nan died when she was a teenager her mum’s mum and Obadiah’s mum died before Charity was even born. I honestly don’t know where she is maybe Johnny’s got it wrong, I would tell you if I knew she won’t listen to me. I’ve tried to get her to come home I’ve never seen her so broken, she’s told me to sell her share of the pub I really don’t think she’s going to come back” Chas said not wanting to hurt Vanessa but she needed to know.

“Thanks Chas if you speak to her can you just tell her to call me please” Vanessa sighed as she walked out the pub.

“Did Chas know where she was” Tracy asked as Vanessa walked through the door.

“No Charity’s gone Trace I’m never going to find her, not even Debbie knows where she is how’s Johnny” Vanessa cried as she sat down on the sofa.

“He’s a sleep, poor little thing is really upset. Have you thought about asking her dad he might know” Tracy suggested as she hugged her sister.

“Charity hasn’t spoken to her dad since she saw him just after the trial he’s not in our lives Trace” Vanessa said.

“No she talks to him he had a stroke while you was taken by Pierce when we thought you were in Paris. She went to stay with him a few days to help him, I thought she would have told you I looked after Moses and Noah at the house” Tracy said surly Charity mentioned it.

“I’ve really neglected her Trace she didn’t even get to tell me what was going on in her life. It became all about me then I pushed her away Trace I’ve never been in this situation before how could I have got this all wrong. She was just trying to love me and make sure I was ok and l treated her like crap and made her feel like she was nothing. How can I make things right I hurt her more than anyone ever has. I would have taken our son from her she would have had to live with the grief of losing me and then Johnny on top of that how could I do that to her” Vanessa cried she’s made such a mess of all of this.

“Vee you’ve been through a lot don’t be so hard on yourself go to her dad’s house get some answers don’t worry I’ll watch Johnny, you may want to drop of his IPad though he was gutted earlier when he didn’t have it” Tracy suggested her sister needed to do something to get Charity back.

After dropping the IPad with Tracy, Vanessa headed to Charity’s dad’s house thankfully, she remembered roughly, where it was. She really hoped her dad would know where Charity was this was her last shot at finding her.

“Hello Vanessa” Obadiah said as he opened his door shocked to see her there.

“Hello I was just wondering if you know where Charity is, I’ve tried everyone” Vanessa said hoping he did.

“Come in would you like some tea” Obadiah said as he led Vanessa in the house he needed to talk to her and get some answers.

“Thank you” Vanessa said as he handed her a cup of tea she spent the last few minutes not being able to speak she really didn’t know what to say to the man who abandoned Charity when she was a child.

“I know you love my daughter and I know she still loves you. When she came over to help me after my stroke she spoke about you and the mistakes she made and how her stupid mistakes made you leave her again. I told her to have faith that you’d come back and you’d be happy again. I spoke to my daughter once a week after she left I know I wasn’t the best Dad to her and I’m trying to make things right now” Obadiah said as he sat across from the young lady she looked broken.

“I’ve been so selfish I didn’t even know she was talking to you. When I found out I had Cancer on top of the trauma of being taken hostage I treated Charity terribly I just want the chance to say how sorry I am. I know she’s a good Mum and I was so wrong for not choosing her to be Johnny’s Mum she is his Mum” Vanessa cried she couldn’t stop the tears from falling now.

“You’ve been through a lot in a short space of time Charity will come round and let you back in she just builds walls around her heart to protect herself we’re more alike than people think. When my wife died I was a mess I drank myself to sleep most nights and I was terrible to my daughter it just hurt so much and she looked just like her mum and it killed me seeing her. I wasn’t there for my daughter when she needed me her mum had died I should have been there to support her and I just shut myself off” Obadiah cried it still hurt talking about this.

“You know she never hated you and even though she was hurt deep down she missed you, she just wished things were different. You know she believes before we got together she was a terrible mother and that’s not true, her kids love her and she would do anything for them just like they’d do anything for her. Charity’s an amazing mum and my Johnny loves her so much I know I need to make things right I wasn’t thinking clearly when I asked Rhona to be his guardian I know the mistakes I’ve made I just hope one day Charity will forgive me” Vanessa cried.

“She will, she’ll probably be mad at me for telling you, but my daughter needs you. Charity’s at her Nan’s house here’s the address,” Obadiah said as he handed her the piece of paper.


	3. chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After leaving Charity’s dad’s house Vanessa headed to the address he gave her she needed to make things right she had to have Charity back in her life.

“Ness what, what are you doing here how did you know where I was” Charity asked shocked to see her at the door.

“Hi Charity we need to talk, I have so much I need to say” Vanessa cried.

“Ok, you best come in the boys are asleep so you can come through to the patio” Charity said as she led Vanessa through the house.

“I’m so sorry Charity, I love you so much I know I hurt you please tell me how I can make things right” Vanessa cried as she sat down.

“There’s nothing you can do it’s ok, I spoke to Johnny and as long as it’s ok with you I was going to come over and see him he wants to live here I explained he can’t but if you wouldn’t mind I’d like to have him some weekends” Charity asked.

“Of course you can. I was so wrong Charity you are his mum. I’ve made so many mistakes I should never have pushed you away. All I want is to be with you and for us to be a family I don’t want Rhona to be his mum I know I hurt you please can you forgive me” Vanessa cried as she knelt in front of the love of her life she needed her back in her life.

“Ness please don’t I can’t do this, this is killing me. We’ve been through so much since the start of the year, if we’d have just got married that day none of this would be happening now. When I thought you was in Paris I really thought we were over I’d let you down again even if I was helping my son I still should have told you what was going on. It kills me knowing how much it hurt you leaving you waiting for me I wish things were different and we married that day then you wouldn’t have been taken by that nutcase. That day in the hospital I swore to myself that I will always stand by you and I’d look after you. I wanted to tell you about my Dad then you told me about the Cancer and I just never got round to telling you” Charity cried as she wiped her eyes.

“Charity I” Vanessa started to say.

“No, Ness let me finish. It’s like you didn’t want me around, I tried so hard for you to let me in to just talk to me. I was running myself to the ground to make sure our family was ok I needed to make things up to you for all the wrong I done. The thought of losing you killed me when Tracy told me you had made a will while you was having the operation I knew then you couldn’t talk to me I just thought you just needed time for you to let me in. I wanted to come with you when you were having Chemo but you never wanted me there whenever I tried to do something nice for you, you would just throw it in my face I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. All you wanted to do was be with Rhona I hate to admit it but I was jealous I hated that you could be with her and act like yourself. When you wanted her to be his mum and not me that was the final straw I couldn’t take any more pain. Leaving you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done I love you with every fibre of my being and the thought of not being with you ripped my heart from my chest. But I couldn’t stay not anymore I couldn’t put my heart through it anymore I just couldn’t. I know people don’t think much of me and think you deserve better than me and maybe they’re right maybe you do. I deserve to be happy to Ness I’m not the same person I was before you I deserve love too,” Charity cried.

“I’m so sorry, I love you Charity all I want is you, I’m sorry for treating you so bad I felt like I was a burden to you, I’m the strong one I didn’t like feeling helpless. I found it hard to be myself I was so scared, I was convinced that I was going to die, or not be the same person I was before all of this. I’ve been so wrong about everything I should have talked to you told you how I was feeling. I found it easy to talk to Rhona because she’s my oldest friend in the world, it wasn’t because I wanted to be with her or anything like that I don’t see her like that. You are the love of my life I only want to be with you, I know talk is cheap especially with the way I’ve treated you these last few months but I swear if you can forgive me I’ll never hurt you again. I want you to be Johnny’s mum I want you to be my wife I want us to be a family you me and the boys and if you want to live here we can I just want to be where you are” Vanessa cried as she took Charity’s hand.

“Ness I, I can’t do this, look it’s late you can take my room I’ll sleep on the sofa we can discuss what’s going to happen in the morning” Charity said as she got up she wanted to believe what Vanessa said but she couldn’t she’d been hurt to much.

“Charity its ok I’ll take the sofa” Vanessa cried.

“You can’t you need proper sleep its fine Ness I’m used to sleeping on sofa’s” Charity said as she showed Vanessa to her room.

“Charity I” Vanessa started to apologise again.

“Please don’t, goodnight Ness” Charity sighed as she closed the door she couldn’t handle anymore not tonight.

The next morning Vanessa was woken by Moses jumping on the bed, she didn’t manage to get much sleep she had so much going around her head.

“Morning Mummy” Moses smiled as he sat on his mum.

“Morning wigglebum, I’ve missed you so much” Vanessa smiled as she poked her head out of the covers.

“Mummy Ness, what, where’s Mummy” Moses asked in shock as he hugged her.

“She’s downstairs should we go and see Mummy” Vanessa smiled as she picked him up she missed her little boy.

“Morning Mummy” Moses smiled as he ran over to the sofa.

“Morning babe, morning Ness I’m sorry if he woke you I forgot he likes to wake me up in the mornings,” Charity said as she got up to make them some breakfast.

“Mummy Ness where’s Johnny” Moses asked he missed his brother.

“He’s at aunty Tracy’s if it’s ok with Mummy we can go and see him later” Vanessa smiled.

“Yeah we can do that I want to see my boy, Ness I know we have a lot to discuss maybe we can have a proper talk later I don’t want there to be any tension in front of the boys,” Charity said as she made the tea.

“I’d like that” Vanessa smiled as she sat at the table with Moses.

“I’m going to go and have a bath and get changed, I won’t be long,” Charity said as she handed Vanessa the tea and Moses his cereal.

After Moses finished his cereal, he wanted to watch cartoon’s so Vanessa sat with him on the sofa she really missed mornings like this she’s always been close to Moses she really missed him these last few weeks.

“Mummy Ness when are we going home” Moses asked as they watched paw patrol.

“I don’t know Moz I still need to talk to your mum” Vanessa sighed.

“Mummy misses you she cry’s at night, Noah told me mummy sad so I have to give her lots of cuddles” Moses said he just wanted them to be happy again.

“I’m so sorry for hurting Mummy I’m going to make things right Moses” Vanessa cried this was killing her the pain she’s caused to her family.

“Why didn’t you want Johnny to be with us” Moses asked he couldn’t understand why she wanted him to be with Rhona.

“Oh babe I do, I’m so sorry I promise you I’m not going anywhere and neither is Johnny ok he’ll always be your brother” Vanessa cried as she hugged him.

“Morning Ness, Mum said she washed and dried your clothes for you if you would like to get ready she’ll be down soon” Noah said as he came in the front room.

“Morning Noah, I will do that thank you” Vanessa smiled as she placed her cup in the sink.

“Mum’s going to have a shower put in, so you’ll have to make do with a bath have you seen the garden it’s massive grandad came over the other day and helped me cut it” Noah smiled he really did like living here.

“I saw some of it last night, when we was sitting on the patio, maybe later you and Moses can show me around” Vanessa said as she made her way upstairs.

After getting ready Vanessa could really see herself living here with Charity and the kids it was a nice size family home, it needed decorating in some area’s some of the decor was very 60’s. It was nice to have a bath again after having showers for years she was thankful Charity got things ready for her.

“Ness I was thinking we could go and pick Johnny up and we could eat out for lunch think it will be good for the boys to see each other” Charity suggested as Vanessa made her way into the front room.

“Sounds perfect thank you for this morning you didn’t need to” Vanessa said

“I know Ness I couldn’t have you walking around in yesterday’s clothes and my clothes are a bit big for you I honestly didn’t mind” Charity smiled as she helped Moses put his toys away.

“Charity I’ll drive back and pick Johnny up and meet you at home or I can meet you in the café” Vanessa suggested as she put her coat on.

“Ok we’ll leave soon I’ve just got to finish getting Moz ready I’ll ring you when I get there” Charity said as she picked Moses up.

When Vanessa arrived at Tracy’s Johnny was ready she knew he’d be excited to see Charity, Noah and Moses she hoped he’d forgive her for the mistakes she made.

“Hi Vee how did things go” Tracy asked as Vanessa walked through the door.

“We talked I really don’t know what’s going to happen, but Charity’s on her way we’re going to go and have lunch” Vanessa smiled.

“Mummy Charity coming” Johnny asked as he caught on to what they were talking about.

“Yes with Noah and Moses, let’s get your coat on were going to meet them at home they should be on their way” Vanessa smiled as he ran to get his coat on.

“Vee if you want this afternoon I can watch the kids while you talk to Charity, so where has she been” Tracy asked hoping they worked things out they belonged together.

“Charity’s dad gave her, her Nan’s old house it’s about a 25 minute drive from here it’s a beautiful house Trace” Vanessa said as she helped Johnny do up his jacket.

“So what’s going to happen, your life is here” Tracy asked not wanting her sister to move away.

“I don’t know Trace but I’ll go where Charity wants us to be and it isn’t that far it’s a bigger house than what we’re currently living in and the garden is massive the boys will love living there. Trace I still need to make things right with Charity before we can decide what’s going to happen, I’ll ring you later, come on Johnny, let’s go” Vanessa smiled as she took his hand. 

“Johnny bobs” Charity smiled as he ran into her arms.

“I’ve missed you Mummy Charity we go eat” Johnny smiled as she hugged him.

“Johnny, we go play” Moses smiled as he saw his brother.

“How about we go grab some lunch then we can go to the park how does that sound,” Charity suggested as the boys hugged each other.

“Yes and Noah” Johnny smiled as Noah took the boys hand.

After they all ate some food at the café the boys were so full of energy Vanessa realised how much Johnny loves them he wouldn’t leave Charity’s side. It made her smile the bond they had she knew she’s made a massive mistake ever thinking her son belonged to anyone other than Charity she was his Mum and Vanessa was determined to make things right with Charity and get her family back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Charity and Vanessa had a really good day with the boys they’d just dropped them off with Tracy so they could talk. Charity knew this was going to be difficult there was still so much that needed to be said.

“I’ll just make us some tea,” Vanessa said wanting to break the ice after moments of silence.

“I’m just going to grab some of my things” Charity said as she got up it felt strange being here it reminded her of what she lost.

“Oh ok, I thought we were going to talk” Vanessa sighed her heart breaking again.

“We will, I just need some of my clothes and stuff I won’t be long” Charity said as she made her way up the stairs.

Vanessa’s heart was breaking she really didn’t know how to make things right Charity taking her things from their home destroyed her. Vanessa couldn’t stop the tears from falling now how could she make Charity see how much she loves her and how wrong she was for doing what she did.

Charity hated seeing Vanessa in pain she knew she had to talk to her she just needed to compose herself she didn’t want to say something that she didn’t mean she was still angry and hurt at the way Vanessa handled this whole situation. Charity noticed their room was the same not that she thought things would be different she placed a few of her things in the small suitcase she uses when she has to go away for brewery meetings.

When Charity made her way back down the stairs she saw Vanessa sitting on the sofa her head in her hands all she wanted to wrap her in her arms and never let go but she couldn’t they needed to talk about where they go from here.

“Charity I love you, I’ll always love you please tell me what I can do and I’ll do it I’m breaking here” Vanessa cried as Charity sat in the chair opposite her.

“Ness I’ll always love you, I just don’t know how I can get past this, you don’t trust me enough to raise our son, because he’s my kid too Ness. I love him so much I always thought we were a family and it killed me when you just decided I wasn’t good enough to be his mum how am I supposed to move on from that. If the circumstances were reversed, there would be no one I would want raising my kids because you’re their mum Moses worships you. We were supposed to be a family I was going to ask you if I could adopt Johnny when we got married because he’s my son and I wanted him to be a Dingle. Now knowing you would have said no if I asked destroys me. How could you not think I’d be a good mum to your son, I know I’m a good mum to him I know I am he loves me and I love him so much how could I not he’s part of you. He’s got me wrapped around his finger and he knows I could never say no to him even Moses uses that to get things he wants. Regardless of what happens between us he will always be my son” Charity cried she had to get everything out.

“You wanted to adopt him, you know you’re wrong if you’d have asked I would have said yes, because you are his mum and I’m so lucky you’re in his life. After Kirin left I never thought my son would have another parent I thought it just be me and him but we’re both so lucky to have you Charity not only did you give my son two parents who love him you also give him siblings and you gave me more children who I love so much. I love Noah and Moses I may not know Debbie that well but I’d do anything for her too because she’s part of you same with Ryan. Can you please forgive me for the mistakes I made I called my lawyer the day you left and stopped Rhona becoming his guardian. I spoke to him about you adopting Johnny he said it be quite straightforward as Kirin not on Johnny’s birth certificate also the fact he’s on the run for murder no judge would insist he has rights. I want you to adopt him I want him to be yours I want us to be a family again Charity. I want to be your wife more than anything if you don’t want to live here we won’t your nan’s house isn’t too far away we could make it work I just want to be where you are, you me and our boys that’s all I want and need” Vanessa said as she kneeled in front of Charity.

“You really mean that you’re not just saying it” Charity cried she couldn’t take any more pain.

“Of course I do I was so stupid for ever thinking you wouldn’t want him, we’ve been through so much this year, with the non-wedding. Then me being taken by Pierce and the Cancer my heads been all over the place, and I treated you so terribly it kills me that I ever made you feel unwanted and unloved. Because I love you more than I ever thought it be possible to love another person. You’ve made me the happiest I’ve ever been I love you Charity only you and if you can find it in your heart to forgive me for all the wrong I done I swear to you I’ll never hurt you again. I could never have got through this past year without you, I have one chemo session left you helped me fight cancer we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives I know that now I should never have doubted us” Vanessa cried as she wiped the tears from Charity’s face.

“I love you, I want us to be together always too, you are the love of my life Ness you’re it for me I don’t want anyone else. I can’t move back here I think we could both do with a new start, we always wanted our own home and we can have that now so what do you say” Charity asked.

“I say yes, Charity where you and the kids are is where I want to be” Vanessa smiled as she kissed her.

“I guess we need to tell the boys we’re back together” Charity smiled as she pulled away from Vanessa’s lips it felt like such a long time since they were last this close and she missed this them being happy that’s all she wanted.

“I’ll pack us a few things we’ll get a removal van for everything else what are you going to tell Debbie, what will she do about this place” Vanessa asked as she made her way upstairs.

“I’ll ring her and let her know we’re moving out she’s happy in Scotland I think she’ll sell the place. While you get some stuff together I’m going to pick the boys up from Tracy” Charity smiled as she pulled out her phone to call Debbie.

“Mummy, where mummy Ness” Moses asked as his mum came through the door.

“Mummy Charity we go home now” Johnny asked as he hugged her.

“About that you and Mummy are going to move in with me in our new house, how do you feel about that Johnny bobs” Charity asked as a massive smiled formed on his little face.

“Johnny we brothers again” Moses smiled as he hugged his mum and brother.

“Oh boys you’ve always been brothers come on lets go and get mummy Ness, Noah is staying with Samson so we’ll see him tomorrow say by to aunty Tracy” Charity smiled as she took there hands.

“Bye aunty Tracy” both boys expressed as they left the house.

“Now boys you’re not going to have all your stuff yet in the new house but we’re going to move everything in soon ok, Moses has some new toys Johnny bobs so you both won’t get bored and I’m sure Moses has told you about the garden” Charity smiled as they walked to their old house.

“Mummy Charity I’m never leaving you again, are you and mummy gonna get married now” Johnny asked just before Charity opened the door.

“Hopefully one day Johnny bobs, one step at a time little man let’s all live together again first” Charity smiled as she saw Vanessa come down the stairs with some suitcases packed.

“Mummy I’m sorry for what I said I don’t hate you,” Johnny said as he hugged his mum.

“Oh Johnny you have nothing to be sorry about, ok this was all my fault are you excited about moving” Vanessa said as she carried her son.

“Yeah Moses told me there massive garden and our room is massive and mummy Charity bought us both race car beds how cool is that” Johnny smiled.

“That’s awesome let me guess yours is red” Vanessa said as she laughed.

“Yep and Moses is blue” Johnny smiled as he grabbed his backpack ready to go.

“You ready to go Ness” Charity smiled as she took the suitcase.

“Yes, seems kind of sad to be leaving we have so many memories living here” Vanessa said as they left.

“Yeah we have not all of them good babe, it’s time for us to make some new memories I spoke to Debbie she’s going to sell it she said she wants come down to see us and meet her grandad” Charity said as they got in her car.

“That’s good let’s go home” Vanessa smiled as Charity started driving.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It’s been a few months now since Vanessa and Johnny moved into the house with Charity, Noah and Moses and they’ve never been happier. Today was the day Johnny’s adoption will be finalised and he’ll officially become a Dingle.

“Mummy will you be a Dingle now too” Johnny asked as he finished his breakfast.

“No not yet Johnny I have to marry mummy Charity first to become a Dingle” Vanessa tried explaining to him.

“So if you get married today you’ll be a Dingle too, so why don’t you just get married,” Johnny asked.

“Morning Johnny bobs so who you want to marry” Charity asked catching the end of the conversation.

Morning mummy Charity I don’t want to marry silly, I want you and mummy to get married” Johnny smiled as she placed him on her lap.

“Johnny bobs mummy and I our getting married I put a ring on it already” Charity smiled she was a bit confused they’ve been engaged for a long time now.

“I want you to get married today that way mummy a Dingle too wouldn’t be fair if she’s not one everyone else is” Johnny said.

“He’s got a point Ness I think we should listen to Johnny bobs, you don’t need a big wedding do you we could just go to the registry office that way you’ll finally be a Dingle too” Charity smiled as Johnny hugged her.

“Charity I would love to marry you, are you sure about this. I don’t need a big wedding, can we manage to pull everything together so fast we got our meeting in an hour to finish the adoption” Vanessa smiled she couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Ness me and Johnny going to sort it ain’t that right little man” Charity smiled as they got up.

“Yes mummy me and mummy Charity sort it, I’ll go get Moses and Noah” Johnny smiled as he ran upstairs.

“I’ll call the registry office and sort a time I’ll ring our family after. We still have our outfits from last time I still have the rings we can do this Ness if you want too,” Charity asked wanting to make sure.

“I love you Charity so much there’s nothing I want more than to be your wife let’s get married” Vanessa smiled as she kissed her.

“Morning mum, Ness, Johnny said you’re getting married today,” Noah said as he came down the stairs.

“We are, Noah can you get you and Moses something to wear, I’ll give your my credit card” Charity smiled as she grabbed her purse.

“That’s great mum I’m so happy for you” Noah smiled as he hugged them both.

“Right we need to get ready we need to leave in about ten minutes, Noah you can take my car” Vanessa smiled as she made her way upstairs.

“Thanks Ness, right I’ll go get Moses ready and I’ll see you both later” Noah smiled he was happy they were all going to be real family.

After getting ready Vanessa made her way downstairs to Charity talking on the phone so she and Johnny decided to head to the car not wanting them to be late.

“Mummy can I go with you mummy Ness and Johnny” Moses asked as he came down the downstairs.

“Moses you’re going to meet us later, I’ll get Noah to get you ice cream ok, I love you” Charity smiled as she hugged her boy.

“Ok mummy, I love you too” Moses smiled today was going to be good day.

Charity was now officially Johnny’s mum this was one of the best days of her life. They had to quickly head home to get ready, Noah and Moses were already ready. Johnny was so excited he wouldn’t stop talking about it. The boys looked so cute in their tuxedos Tracy has taken so many pictures of them.

“Right we better go the Taxi should be here in a minute” Tracy smiled she was so happy for them.

“You ready boys, Trace thanks so much for all your help today” Charity smiled as she took the boys hands.

“Your welcome I wanted you both to have a good day, this is a really nice house Charity, I can see why you left the village it really isn’t that far” Tracy smiled.

“Thanks Trace, right we’re meeting Vanessa and Noah there Vanessa didn’t want to break tradition this time” Charity smiled as they walked out the door.

“Ness you look amazing, would you mind if I walked you down the aisle, mum’s walked in already with the two little ones” Noah asked as he approached her.

“I would love that thank you, you look so handsome” Vanessa smiled as she took his arm.

Watching Vanessa and Noah walk down the aisle Charity has never seen a more beautiful site, she was so proud of her son when he asked her if it be ok if he asked Vanessa Charity had never been more prouder in that moment she knew then he loved Vanessa and believed their marriage would work.

“Hi” Charity smiled as she took Vanessa’s hand.

“Hi, you look amazing” Vanessa smiled there was no better site than seeing Charity in a suit.

“Thank you, you look absolutely stunningly beautiful” Charity broke out she couldn’t believe they were finally doing this, today couldn’t get any better.

“We’re gathered here today to witness the union of Charity Dingle and Vanessa Elizabeth Woodfield they have decided to say their own vows,” the registrar said.

“Vanessa it’s impossible for me to put into words how much you mean to me and how much I love you, I never thought it be possible to love someone so completely. You have given me everything I have ever wanted, you love me you love our kids we are a family. I know it hasn’t always been easy. Before we got together, I wasn’t the best person I done a lot things wrong in my life but you saved me got me through some of the toughest times in my life. You will always be my everything, I vow to make you feel happy, loved and cherished everyday for the feast of our lives. I will love you through the good and bad times I’ll always be by your side I won’t let you down Ness with this ring I thee wed” Charity smiled as she placed the ring on Vanessa’s finger.

“How do I top that, Charity I can’t say I fell in love with you at first sight, but I can at first kiss. Before you, I was never truly myself. Today I can say with utter certainty that I’m marrying my soulmate. We’ve had our share of ups and downs but we always find our way back to each other. You have also given me a family something I never thought I would have. I love you so much Charity I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together. I vow to always love you, always be by your side, through the good and bad times. I will love you until the end of time this I vow today with this ring I thee wed” Vanessa smiled as she placed the ring on Charity’s finger.

“I now pronounce you married you may both kiss the bride” the registrar smiled as they kissed.


End file.
